The guys make fun of me for being the granny driver of the crew – but only while they have demerit points to spare and aren’t confined to kitchen hand duties.Ī year into my Pizza Chick career, the two-site pizza business explodes into a chain half a dozen shops open almost overnight. I’m the driver who delivers two orders in twenty minutes and never once comes to the attention of the boys in blue. His mad driving skills will come in handy later on when he has to cover the planet in a single night, but right now they’re not doing his licence – or his wallet – any favours.
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He’s one of the drivers who deliver twelve orders in twelve minutes and are forever on the brink of losing their licence. The world of pizza is where Bogan Boy’s path crosses mine.
To pay the rent on my cheap dog-box apartment in the inner suburbs of Perth, the capital city of Western Australia, I’m working as many shifts as I can get delivering pizzas, which is the casual job I had while studying. Since Australia is wallowing in Prime Minister Paul Keating’s ‘recession we had to have’, that bachelor’s degree isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on, so a year after graduating I’m still officially unemployed. When this story begins, I’m a 23-year-old Aussie girl with letters after my name, ⁴ a degree-qualified accountant. At least it’s a Cortina, one of the few models your self-respecting Aussie Bogan Boy would be seen dead in. I know, right? But this is long before he hits the big time and buys that fancy sleigh, back when he’s a dirt-poor pizza delivery boy and can’t afford to be picky about his wheels. ² He drinks bourbon, smokes dope and hoons ³ around town in a Ford Cortina station wagon painted Kermit the Frog green. When this story begins, Santa is a 19-year-old Aussie Bogan. ¹ Everyone has a past, and before the marketing geniuses at the Coca Cola Company got their hands on this Fat Boy, and styled him into that wholesome favourite-Grandpa type you all adore, it was a whole other story. Now, you all wouldn’t know this, but I used to go out with Santa Claus. They were the only things left in the house to eat.ĬHAPTER ONE DEAR SANTA, GIMME A TRIKE OR I’M GOING TO THE TABLOIDS She slowly worked her way through all the junk food in the apartment, all the while thinking lo-o-o-ong and ha-a-ard about a-a-a-all those Rules.įinally she tossed the empty bucket of fried chicken into the bin and said to the walls: She ate a tub of ice cream, and thought about The Rules even more. She drank a litre of Coke, and thought about The Rules some more. She was going to cycle, hike and paddle around the entire world. One day as she lazed about, munching on her favourite junk foods and reading yet another adventure travel book, Fat Chick decided she too was going to have adventures. It was just as well she loved that armchair, because the three-seater sofa was taken up by the two cats, and they showed no signs of ever giving it back. It was a comfortable armchair, and she loved to laze about in it. Once upon a time in the far, far west of the land that Time forgot, in a little apartment in the inner city, there lived a Fat Chick and her two fluffy cats.įat Chick spent all of her spare time lazing about in an armchair. While kneeling on all fours, use your pelvic muscles to tuck in your bottom, relax, and repeat.PROLOGUE IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS A FAT CHICK One method often used to relieve pain and encourage the baby to move is called pelvic tilt. Swaying back and forth, slow dancing, and even climbing stairs may help ease the pain and encourage your baby to change position. Most babies move into the occiput anterior (OA) position by birth, although some will be born “sunny side up” (with the baby looking straight upward as he or she is born).īaby in the occiput anterior (OA) position You may find it helpful to direct the pressure higher or lower and to press with a hot or cold pack-whichever is most comfortable.īack pain during labor usually subsides once the baby changes position however, the pain may sometimes continue because the muscles may remain tense. Having someone press on your back just above the tailbone can help relieve back pain during labor. Another good comfort measure is to get down on all fours and then slowly lean forward until you can rest your head on a pillow. Walking is an excellent way to ease pressure on your back. If you are not restricted to bed, get up and move around. The more you move, the more opportunities the baby has to adjust to a better position for both of you. If you are restricted to bed, lie on your side.
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Consult your healthcare professional before trying these comfort measures:Īvoid lying on your back.
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